Thrown Away...

Those are the exact words of my client as we sat in anger management on Wednesday. He feels thrown away, by his family, by everyone around him. He recounted the story of his child hood: alcoholic mother, fed up father which led to divorce. Mom eventually remarried and later died from her addiction. Client grows up and finds himself in the throes of addiction. Filled with disgust, his father disowned him. Making sure to tell the client, his son, that he hoped he [the client] would die first. And if he didn't then he would get nothing but a penny because that is all his life is worth. Since spouting this poison he has since bought the client's sister a new home and my client now wonders the streets waiting for a space in our housing program.

Newly sober the tears welled in his eyes as he let a room full of people into his soul. I'm sure if time had allowed a much bigger picture would have presented but this story touched me none the less. I asked the client his age, though this information served no therapeutic purpose, and his answer stung me. He is fifty five. This man is middle aged and though I don't know how long ago this took place he still carries this pain with him. He is so sweet and his case worker told me later, very hard working.

I drive pass him every morning on my way to work and before that session he was just another client. This particular Wednesday a connection was made as I could all too easily relate to being thrown away. I tried to uplift the group, to inspire each of them so that despite the pain they would come back and keep trying to get better.

My point was that sometimes not belonging can be the best thing in the world. I think instinctively we all turn to our families to fit in and find our niche but sometimes their rejection can be the best thing in the world. Sometimes our families are poison and negative to the point that we suffer from trying to fit in. Being different, being the black sheep can lead us to greener pastures with a healthier more supportive flock. Even if obstacles get in the way, the end result can be better than where we started from.

I asked the man how he felt now that he had been in services. He replied, different. He couldn't pinpoint how but as I watched him walk from the group I saw him talk with his caseworker and move on to a small group outside smoking. He had friends. He has support and since coming he has been sober. His journey is long and far from over but if I had to guess I bet he will be a lot happier from here on out.